It’s that time of year again…the time of year when you remember the loved one that you lost for the first time…It’s been 4 very short years since my Grammie left to be in Heaven forever, and the pain never goes away..my heart hurts just as bad as it did when nannie told me Grammie died…there isn’t a day that goes by that she doesn’t come into my mind…every once in a while something happens in life where I just wish she could be here to see it or so I could at least tell her about it. 

It’s hard when you go from seeing someone everyday of your life for 16 years, to them not being there anymore.  She wasn’t there for anymore chorus concerts, or anything else that I was involved in…I think the hardest time I had when she wasn’t there for me was graduation.  I had always thought Grammie was going to be coming to my graduation, sitting in those chairs and giving me a hug telling me how proud of me she was…even though I felt her there with me on that day, it wasn’t the same at all…

I remember when nannie told me she died…Dad and Uncle Jere came to work and said that I needed to bring papas pickup home, so I did.  When I got to nannies everyone was there, and I wasn’t sure why.  I remember seeing daddy and nannie walking over to the pickup looking upset, but I didn’t really think anything of it.  Nannie got to the door, opened it and said “Brianna, Grammie Ida passed away today.”  I honestly had no words.  I really could not believe that the Grammie I JUST saw the other day was gone.  I just cried and cried….I just couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that she really was gone…It was and still is a very hard thing for me to accept.  I remember walking into the church the night of her wake not knowing what to expect.  When I saw her laying in the casket, I just broke down…like all I kept thinking was I wanted my Grammie back right now.

It’s so hard to let go, and say your final goodbye to someone…There are so many things I would love to say to Grammie, but I know that she’s watching me and I’m content with that…Rest Easy Grammie, I know where you are, and I’ll see you again someday…I love you forever and miss you more than words will ever be able to describe <3